Tag: Children

What to do when you can’t do much – Dad edition

Part of being a fulltime work-at-home father and taking care of your baby daughter all day, while your partner is off to university, is to be ok with not being able to do anything at all.

Pose me with this problem, a few years back, I would have probably gone crazy. Thankfully, 12 years of university experience came through and gave me an indispensable ability to adapt to fast-changing environments, or in other words, my daughter.

Now, children come in all forms and fortunately, my daughter is an absolute angel. Of course, this offer doesn’t discount its fair share of troubles, but as long as we are able to maintain a consistent routine of dad doing absolutely nothing but procrastinate all day with his daughter, then we are talking business.

At first, the transition was very difficult. It was frustrating that I couldn’t do my hobbies or work on my own terms. Schedules weren’t schedules anymore. Rather, my planner became the equivalent of a versatile Power Morpher, morphing into different Rangers that I had to contend with every day.

But, as the months passed by, I realized that there was a lot more to the chaos than I gave credit for.

Don’t underestimate the value of doing nothing, of just going along, listening to all the things you can’t hear, and not bothering.

Winnie the Pooh

Pooh was right. Spending time with my daughter and just absorbing what she had to offer while committing to this daily ritual of procrastination really opened my eyes to all the valuable little details of my life.

In every moment that I got to share with my daughter, I found an entire life’s worth of inspiration, joy, and comfort. I learned to listen more than I have ever before, experiencing a great boost in my mental state, and an explosion of energy when it came to my creative pursuits. In my daughter’s company, I was seeing life through her eyes and experiencing the wonder of many firsts to come.

So, in due time, I was able to turn the tables and figure out four important things that I can do when I can’t do much in the first place:

1. It’s all about perspective.

Children are great at making you reconsider your perspective on just about anything. I used this to great benefit when it came down to tackling work and learning to reframe my mindset when confronted by new challenges.

2. Developing a mental diary/sketchbook

I didn’t have much time to do writing during the day, so how could I still get work done, when I’m not sitting in front of a computer? Carrying a mental diary/sketchbook of sorts is perfect for this. I capitalized on this during my daughter’s naptime and quiet playtime, creating mental charts on my graphic novel plots, sketchbook ideas, science articles to write, and developing a mental monologue on my professional work and creative hobbies. Once my partner came home, thanks to all the mental preparation, I would get all my day’s work done in the span of an hour or two. Productivity + Efficiency = Success!

3. Lots of Reading

You can find no better reading partner than your own child. My daughter loves books and she loves going through them by herself. Dad has a long reading list of his own, spanning all the stuff he wants to learn when it comes to writing novels, art, and fun. It is about time that he works through that list. So, what do we do? We read together. My daughter loves it when I can get involved in what she does by doing something similar. This leaves me with the opportunity of learning something new and improving my skills while teaching some to my daughter as well. Also, this works especially well during naptime!

4. Seeing the bigger picture and the value of time

Every good thing comes to an end. Children grow up REALLY fast. My daughter is an extreme case of that but I’m happy with it. She has taught me the value of time and how important it is to enjoy every moment we have with our loved ones, whenever and wherever possible. Indeed, these moments are precious memories we can revisit for many more years to come.

With all that said, rather than fight to work against my daughter’s flow, I made my routine a part of her own, enhancing my own productivity as a result. Most importantly, I have fully embraced the fact that there is nothing wrong in taking a step back and doing absolutely nothing for part of the day. After all, when it comes to children, there is always a happy surprise waiting to inspire you, around every corner.

Book Review – Redwall – A Journey In Childhood Nostalgia

“It was the summer of the late rose.” The year was 2002, and I was a scrawny 11-year-old kid, sitting in a corner at the school library, fully immersed in Brian Jacques’ Redwall. A year had passed since my family and I first arrived in Cairo, Egypt. I was admitted at the Cairo American College (CAC) International school to complete my elementary and middle school education. The lack of a strong foundation in spoken and written English led to my registration in the English as a Second Language (ESL) program. The school library, with its treasure trove of books and resources (I hadn’t actually ever visited a library in my life till then), would naturally become a second home in my efforts to improve my hold over the English language.

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My finding of Redwall was preceded by my discovery of another great literary work in J.R.R. Tolkien’s Lord of the Rings. I was largely drawn to the illustrations on the book cover, alongside the descriptive maps in the appendix. Jousting my way through the first few pages of The Fellowship of the Ring I would ultimately give up, confused and frustrated in my inability to understand the contents.  A friendly librarian would see to it that my efforts weren’t wasted, suggesting an easier (and more suitable) read of the fantasy genre in Brian Jacques’ Redwall. Thus began my adventures with the peaceful creatures of Redwall Abbey, a journey that continues to this day.

Redwall follows the tale of a young mouse named Matthias who dreams of adventures as opposed to the quiet and peaceful life of servitude he is advised to follow by his mentors and the inhabitants of Redwall Abbey. When the abbey’s tranquil atmosphere is destroyed by the coming of Cluny the Scourge, an evil-one eyed rat warlord, Matthias must find the courage necessary in himself to step forward, become the champion of the abbey, and protect his family and loved ones.

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The primary theme of Redwall is centered on the triumph of good over evil. Jacques does not shy away from describing the harsh realities of battle, and death through the medieval setting upon which the peaceful mice, badgers, voles, hares, squirrels, sparrows, and moles fight and defeat the violent rats, weasels, snakes, stoats, and ferrets.Jacques follows the traditional template of the monomyth or the hero’s journey in his protagonist, Matthias. Matthias’ story begins at Redwall Abbey but the impending danger upon Cluny’s arrival sends him on a journey through the heart of Mossflower Woods, deep within the forests, where he faces and succeeds in the hero’s challenge to obtain the courage required to save the abbey and vanquish its enemies.

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“Imagination is a gift given to us from God and each one of us use it differently.”

Jacques’ vivid descriptions of his characters, as well as his unique style in combining action, poetry, and songs makes for a wonderful read for both children and adults alike. It comes of no surprise then that Jacques’ Redwall  was originally dedicated to his friends, the children of the Royal Wavertree School for the Blind, whom he first met while working as a milkman. The success of Redwall kick-started the growth of a 22-book series that now has a lasting legacy as among the best of children’s fantasy novels.

Reading Redwall in 2002, I was captivated by the world Jacques’ had constructed in his novel. Now, almost 17 years down the road and having recently re-read the novel, I cannot deny the childhood nostalgia that sums my experience of Redwall and the influence it has had in my own efforts to writing books in the fantasy genre for a diverse audience. The enduring cast of Redwall characters, their trials and tribulations, and their ultimate success provide, in my humble opinion, valuable lessons in courage, love, peace, family, and freedom. While the overall series may be guilty, on certain occasions, of recycling old plot lines and propagating an obvious pattern of predictability, Jacques’ Redwall sets the stage for an unforgettable journey alongside memorable and diverse characters in a story that is full of heart.

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Making A Difference

I’m fortunate enough to have been given the opportunities that I have had in my life. Thanks to my father’s employment in a prominent non-governmental organization (NGO) called PLAN International (a child rights organization that works with communities in many countries to alleviate child poverty), I, along with my family, have traveled to several countries around the world. We were modern-day nomads, traveling wherever my father’s work beckoned. Whenever possible, I joined my father on his daily adventures, allowing myself the opportunity to understand and learn the multifaceted nature of humanitarian service and development. It also helped that my father often brought his work home, leading to long-winded conversations on his day-to-day exploits.

Growing up, I tried to emulate my father. But as my future beckoned, I learned to find my own unique path, and destiny in life. Still, to this day, I carry the lessons I have learned in the presence of my father, most notably his compassion to his fellow human beings as well as his perseverance and commitment to his work. My father found great satisfaction in the simple act of helping others, and even more, in the happiness of his family. His efforts were largely directed to these objective. Thus, he made a big difference in my life, and of countless others. So it is not at all surprising that I too feel a strong calling toward contributing to the society and making a difference in the world.

Our world is riddled with doubt and confusion. The toils of war, civil unrest, corruption, racial and ethnic differences, climate change (along with an assortment of environmental issues), to name a few, are the great uncertainties of our time. These issues afflict our daily lives, standing as we are, mute and in the shadow of a persistent struggle to communicate and unite, as a species, toward a better and brighter future. At the crux of it all, we have allowed our fear and anger to dictate our choices and actions, leading the greater part of the world to be divided.

Take racism for instance, it manifests in many aspects of our social lives. It pervades modern-day societies and political systems; the basis of its strength is a volatile expression of pride, prejudice or aversion to others via discriminatory practices. Humanity has a deep history with racism, and its various forms including segregation, supremacism, xenophobia, nativism, hierarchical ranking, and other related social phenomena. Reaching back to the ancient societies of the past: Greeks, Romans, Indians, Arabs, and even further, to their predecessors, I find that racism was a by-product of our own vanity. Natural circumstances subscribed to humanity our beliefs in an expression of individuality, dividing and classifying us, into specific races. Racism is an institution, not an ideology, founded in capitalism and slave trade.

To me, racism is nothing more than a word that describes the highly- convoluted story that is human cooperation and communication. Is there a solution to this? I admit that many of the issues that plague modern society have great histories behind them, making it difficult to distinguish a unique solution in any case. Nevertheless, I believe we owe it to ourselves to iterate the necessity for action, particularly in recognition of alternatives that may provide the foundation for future solutions.

At one point in my life, I told my father that I would love to build a university. Finding inspiration in the Akademia of Plato, I modeled my university to be an institution that pioneered free thought. People could come and go, study what they must, openly discussing their thoughts with their peers, without fear or discrimination; a platform for reason and rational conversation. I still harbor this dream, though it is a work in progress (there remains more room for thought in the realization of such an institution, especially with regards to its structures and inner workings, but what matters to me is the message of such a concept). In knowledge, and in education, I found what I believed to be a solution towards the fractured communication of the human species. By educating ourselves, and our children in proactive and collaborative thinking we may slowly shear away towards a solution. By addressing our differences, openly and without fear, we may find unity. Of course, at this point, it becomes a question of how are we to do that? I find my answer again in what I proposed earlier. All of us are unique in our own ways, but it is in the same pride with which we define our individuality that we can also define our humanity. The hierarchical structures of knowledge and government weren’t constructed as a means to enslave our species, but as a medium to liberate ourselves in collective thought and action.

This will be the challenge of our time. Communication without fear, government without bias, education without limitations…While it may require an acceptance of short-term losses for the sake of long-term benefits, we must learn to recognize the importance of our world. While anger and fear may have allowed us to survive and evolve over the millennia, those very emotions can also fuel our motivation towards building a better world, not just for those who are alive now, but more importantly for those who follow us, our children, our legacy. Therein lies what may be a small part of the bigger picture, to learn to see ourselves as a global family rather than as select individuals.

My father had a bigger picture that motivated his own actions. It was his family. He found his strength in the happiness of his family, an emotion that he channeled into his work and in the lives of others whom he met and helped. Simply put, he made a difference. Just as much as ignorance can be bliss and can forestall change, anger can be proactive and enforce our will to action. I too want to make a difference, and though I have a long way to go, by expressing my anger, not to separate myself from others, but as a tool to define and communicate my knowledge, to help shape the world, I could one day just like everyone else, if they are willing to, be the difference that will become a brighter future.