Tag: dad

What to do when you can’t do much – Dad edition

Part of being a fulltime work-at-home father and taking care of your baby daughter all day, while your partner is off to university, is to be ok with not being able to do anything at all.

Pose me with this problem, a few years back, I would have probably gone crazy. Thankfully, 12 years of university experience came through and gave me an indispensable ability to adapt to fast-changing environments, or in other words, my daughter.

Now, children come in all forms and fortunately, my daughter is an absolute angel. Of course, this offer doesn’t discount its fair share of troubles, but as long as we are able to maintain a consistent routine of dad doing absolutely nothing but procrastinate all day with his daughter, then we are talking business.

At first, the transition was very difficult. It was frustrating that I couldn’t do my hobbies or work on my own terms. Schedules weren’t schedules anymore. Rather, my planner became the equivalent of a versatile Power Morpher, morphing into different Rangers that I had to contend with every day.

But, as the months passed by, I realized that there was a lot more to the chaos than I gave credit for.

Don’t underestimate the value of doing nothing, of just going along, listening to all the things you can’t hear, and not bothering.

Winnie the Pooh

Pooh was right. Spending time with my daughter and just absorbing what she had to offer while committing to this daily ritual of procrastination really opened my eyes to all the valuable little details of my life.

In every moment that I got to share with my daughter, I found an entire life’s worth of inspiration, joy, and comfort. I learned to listen more than I have ever before, experiencing a great boost in my mental state, and an explosion of energy when it came to my creative pursuits. In my daughter’s company, I was seeing life through her eyes and experiencing the wonder of many firsts to come.

So, in due time, I was able to turn the tables and figure out four important things that I can do when I can’t do much in the first place:

1. It’s all about perspective.

Children are great at making you reconsider your perspective on just about anything. I used this to great benefit when it came down to tackling work and learning to reframe my mindset when confronted by new challenges.

2. Developing a mental diary/sketchbook

I didn’t have much time to do writing during the day, so how could I still get work done, when I’m not sitting in front of a computer? Carrying a mental diary/sketchbook of sorts is perfect for this. I capitalized on this during my daughter’s naptime and quiet playtime, creating mental charts on my graphic novel plots, sketchbook ideas, science articles to write, and developing a mental monologue on my professional work and creative hobbies. Once my partner came home, thanks to all the mental preparation, I would get all my day’s work done in the span of an hour or two. Productivity + Efficiency = Success!

3. Lots of Reading

You can find no better reading partner than your own child. My daughter loves books and she loves going through them by herself. Dad has a long reading list of his own, spanning all the stuff he wants to learn when it comes to writing novels, art, and fun. It is about time that he works through that list. So, what do we do? We read together. My daughter loves it when I can get involved in what she does by doing something similar. This leaves me with the opportunity of learning something new and improving my skills while teaching some to my daughter as well. Also, this works especially well during naptime!

4. Seeing the bigger picture and the value of time

Every good thing comes to an end. Children grow up REALLY fast. My daughter is an extreme case of that but I’m happy with it. She has taught me the value of time and how important it is to enjoy every moment we have with our loved ones, whenever and wherever possible. Indeed, these moments are precious memories we can revisit for many more years to come.

With all that said, rather than fight to work against my daughter’s flow, I made my routine a part of her own, enhancing my own productivity as a result. Most importantly, I have fully embraced the fact that there is nothing wrong in taking a step back and doing absolutely nothing for part of the day. After all, when it comes to children, there is always a happy surprise waiting to inspire you, around every corner.

Top 10 Things I Have Learned as a Rookie Dad from my Baby Daughter

Irrespective of the fact if you have a baby daughter or son, I’m sure rookie dads all around the world will find something in common to what my list has to offer.

I, for one, have learned much since my baby daughter arrived. These lessons have ranged from small pearls of wisdom to unexpected surprises. No matter the nature of my learning, the takeaway is the happiness I experience in its wake, in this moment, growing with my child and seeing the world through her eyes.

Let us get started.

1. Sleep is underrated.

This one is pretty obvious. I have had my fair share of late nights and the occasional all-nighter during my time at university. Going into this baby business, my confidence was right up there. I should be able to handle some late nights, right?

Yeah, not really. Never have I realized the value of sleep like I do now.

Not when these late nights become a regularity over several months. Never have I felt more tired! Squeezing in those power naps really became a priority so I could balance out with my wife on taking care of the little rebel.

What matters is that my baby girl gets her beauty sleep because a happy baby is better than a cranky one. It is a real power struggle.

2. There is a new boss in the house.

Power is a complicated thing. My wife and I got pretty good at this game. After having gone through various phases of our life together, we’ve learned to work as a team and function as a solid and cohesive unit. After all, team work is the best.

I think not.

That doesn’t really matter so much for our baby girl. In her opinion, you either take power or you don’t. She is the new boss of the house, and in being bossy, she makes us do all sorts of things, starting with absolutely nothing.

3. Doing absolutely nothing is awesome.

When you spend a good decade, jumping from one class to the next, doing assignments, prepping for exams, graduating from university, looking for jobs, and so on and so forth, you sometimes forget the value of just sitting down and doing absolutely nothing.

Sometimes, by doing absolutely nothing, you get a whole lot of something.

One of the best parts about being a dad for me is to look back at my day and realize I have accomplished practically nothing. That’s alright though, because that “nothing” is filled with doing everything I can to keep my baby girl happy and nothing is better than seeing her smile.

4. Inspiration is just around the corner.

As an aspiring writer and artist, spending time with my baby girl has become my greatest source of creativity and inspiration. Every day becomes an adventure!

I love the experience that is growing with my baby girl, and learning to see the world through her eyes.

Not only has it made me work harder toward my own dreams but it comes with additional benefits in kindling ideas for my stories and artwork. At this rate, my baby daughter will be a contributing author in my works. The main point is to be in the moment, and relish it.

5. Being in the moment.

As a dad, all of a sudden, there is so much to think about, from the then, the now, and the what comes after. It became quite stressful. But I’ve realized that with my baby girl, what matters is being in the moment.

Inner peace…

I have no idea what is going to happen in the future, and there is no point in worrying endlessly about it. I can learn from the mistakes I’ve made in the past but I cannot get overly critical of myself. What matters is the now, where there are so many precious moments to indulge in and relish.

And when the now gets to be too much, taking a break also comes in handy. Being in the moment helps with that too, and that has been a valuable lesson for a dad like me who often thinks too many things at the same time.

6. No need to go to the gym.

Having hit 30, for some reason, my brain must have sent memos to all my body parts stating that their warranty is over. Cue muscle spasms, shoulder aches, and all sorts of things that I have never had to deal with in my life. It was time to hit the gym again but with Covid-19 still going strong, I wasn’t too comfortable with that either.

Exercising and physical health is important when a baby is around.

Funnily enough, my baby girl has facilitated this: from regular walks in the neighborhood, and lots of action around the house from bicep/tricep curls, sit-ups, squatting, all of which can be done while entertaining my baby girl. No need for a gym membership. Exercising also keeps my mental health primed.

7. Thinking on your feet.

And that is important, because with my baby daughter I’ve learned the importance of thinking on my feet.

Expect the unexpected eh?

My baby girl is quite the explorer so what may hold her attention now may no longer interest her a few minutes later. This can get annoying, but that’s where patience comes in.

8. Patience is a virtue.

It truly is. Babies are fun but god they are also extremely difficult. I love my baby daughter, but every now and then my wife and I would feel overwhelmed with what she is throwing at us.

Patience really helped in seeing the bigger picture.

Its something I had to drill into my head because babies can be difficult in different ways every day.

Why? Because they are learning so much every single instance. If I can get overwhelmed just by having to do two or three activities at the same time, I cannot imagine the information input my baby daughter goes through everyday.

Plus, it really helped my wife. And on that note…

9. Moms are amazing.

Truly. Seeing what my wife does, night in and night out, I am at a loss for words at the pure energy (fueled by love, frustration, lots of fatigue, and just a relentless will) she displays in taking care of our baby girl.

When I expressed my amazement to my wife, her response was, “I know I’m awesome.”

Much respect for all the moms out there, especially during these tough times. It is in that amazement that I’m also driven as a dad to do my best, if not better, to not only make my baby girl happy but also my wife.

I’ve learned that I don’t have to think too hard about it. A small bucket of ice-cream, and tagging in with the baby girl, goes a long way.

10. Life, Love, and Laughter.

Which brings me to the greatest and best lesson of all.

Learning to take in life as it is, sharing all the love you have to offer, and laughing as much you can.

That really is the secret recipe. Both my wife and my baby daughter have taught me this and it has made my life all the better. Not to mention, it is extremely motivating in whatever I do and has made my experience as a dad all the more enjoyable.

And that’s it for my list. Now, seeing that it is my turn to tag in, I shall bid adieu to you my readers! I will be back with another post very soon!

Becoming a Dad

In my previous post, I mentioned that there was a bigger story to my absence from the blog over the last few months. I guess the title has already spoiled the mystery.

Yes! I am now officially a Dad!

I’m still getting used to my friends and family teasing me on my newly acquired status but it is one that I’ve long yearned for, and I’m all the more happy for my wife and for us in that we have made it so far.

Our little one has been quite the storm and apart from uprooting our sleep cycle, she brings the greatest joy in our life in everything she is. I have to applaud my wonderful wife who has been a champion throughout all the struggles and complications we had to face in the earlier laps of this new journey in our life. Leina, you are absolutely amazing.

Being a Dad has been a unique experience and one that I have enjoyed so far. I can’t wait to confront all the fun challenges waiting just around the corner. Every day means something special and new to discover with our little one, and the atmosphere altogether has only made me relish the surprises she will continue to provide us in the long run.

As such, my absence over the last few months can largely be attributed to keeping up with my little one and managing the final strands of my doctoral studies that I’m now set to complete over the summer. All the hustle and bustle had me set aside my writing and artwork so that I may solely focus on what is most important: spending time with my baby daughter.

Interestingly, I have found greater inspiration in her company and enough so that I’m brimming with ideas to keep up and execute in posts that I wish to share in the blog alongside artwork and writing that I intend to complete.

In the weeks to follow, I hope to build on just that with The Pensive Reverie and The Procrastinating Scientist. With that said, I shall now return to the cute little giggles of my beautiful baby daughter who I just can’t get enough of. (As diaper monitor, it is also imperative I’m at her beck and call.)

I will see you all soon with a new story to share!