No, I am not referring to Chinua Achebe’s debut novel (one of my favorite reads from high school). What I’m here to talk about is when plans go caput, like they did over the last two months since my last blog entry. The feature image of this post is a very good hint as to what may be responsible.
Before you proceed, beware, the Force (for all those Star Wars fans out there) is strong with this post.
A recurring theme of parenthood is the inability to exact on the plans and goals we set for ourselves. You may ask, “What happened? Where were you all these days?”
Put it simply, I became Obi-Wan Kenobi. Holed up in my office, I have spent the last two months reminiscing the glory days…
For almost 8 years, I was a happy man in an awesome relationship. There was peace and tranquility…before the dark times, before my Republic fell against the onslaught and ascendance of an empire led by a baby Darth Vader.
Unlike the actual Darth Vader, this baby Darth Vader is just so much more difficult to handle. Why? Because the chaos that ensues in her presence is accompanied by a forceful load of cuteness and all sorts of mushy feelings.
Nevertheless, our battles have been legendary. Collateral damage was inevitable. The state of my home speaks to that. The battles have taken their toll on my body as well and battle scars have been plenty with the most worrisome being a recurring shoulder injury that set me back from doing any writing or art for nearly a month. Recovery has been gradual but investing in an ergonomic office set up has made a big difference. The rings under my eyes are now a permanent addition to my battle-hardened persona, and with every passing day, I feel more like this guy,
Meanwhile, my partner hasn’t been faring so well either. Setting aside the reality of dealing with teething, baby vaccinations, and COVID scares, a potent combination that screwed up all the routines that I had set in place to assist the two of us, my wife has transformed into this guy (by her own admission),
Stress is a difficult opponent, and looking after a baby can sometimes be awful especially when your time is pretty much out of your hands and serves the whims of a little human being. Mixed emotions follow when you are uncertain if you are actually happy or extremely frustrated as everything that is orderly crumbles to dust.
So, as things fell apart, I realized that it was more important to give my wife as much support as I could (not to say that I haven’t thus far). I’m grateful that I was able to land a job that enabled me to work from home. I can’t say that I succeeded 100% when it comes to helping out. It has been a work in progress as we learn from one another and our individual mistakes but on the brighter side of things, it is an experience that has only deepened our relationship as partners and as parents to our lovely angel.
Treats have been the way to go to deal with the constant stress and any unhealthy weight gain is offset by having to run after our baby daughter. Despite all these difficulties, we have had a few occasions to celebrate. Most notably, my first purchase of a car. A Mazda, my very own Razor Crest, that will serve as our family transport as we explore the endless boundaries of the galaxy that unravels in the wake of our daughter’s growth.
Today, I feel very happy to get back on the block and write this post but I can’t be certain as to how “back” I actually am. Fingers crossed that things do settle down over the next few weeks so that I can hit my groove again. If not, that is alright as well, because nothing is more important than family…actually, scratch that, nothing is more important than you, baby Lord Vader.
Here’s to seeing you all again next week, with a new hope, and a new blog post to boot.
My first experience of a Star Wars movie was Return of the Jedi. I was quite young, and with little to zero knowledge of the English language. Nevertheless, George Lucas’ creativity, and the seemingly expansive world of Star Wars with its magnificent Star Destroyers, exotic planets and alien species, the imposing Darth Vader, and the pure awesomeness of lightsabers got me hooked. I have remained a fan of the franchise ever since.
Star Wars The Dark Lord Trilogy was an engrossing experience that revisited events surrounding my favorite movie of the prequel trilogy, Revenge of the Sith. The book is in fact a combination of three novels: Labyrinth of Evil, Revenge of the Sith, and Dark Lord: The Rise of Darth Vader.
While the book is not necessarily considered to be fully canon (excluding the novelization of Revenge of the Sith) in the present state of the franchise, the volume as a whole offers a unique perspective for the reader into the struggles of the “hero with no fear” Anakin Skywalker, his fall, and subsequent evolution into the dark lord of the Sith, Darth Vader.
Having watched the animated Clone Wars series (2003 and 2008 versions) I initially didn’t expect to be surprised (in terms of content) by the book. Having now completed the volume, I can say I was sorely mistaken.
Knowing what is to come in Revenge of the Sith adds a sense of emergency throughout James Luceno’s Labyrinth of Evil. The Labyrinth of Evil provides an in-depth perspective of the epic chain of events leading into the last days of the Republic and the inevitable fall of the Jedi Order. Luceno takes the audience deeper into the pysche of the prominent players of the stage including fan-favorites Obi-Wan Kenobi, Mace Windu, Master Yoda, Padme Amidala, and many more as they walk towards their irrevocable fates in Revenge of the Sith. The events play out through the thoughts of the characters rather than as standalone observations adding greater depth and personality to the encounter.
“The circle is now complete” in Stover’s Revenge of the Sith where our heroes meet their inenvitable downfall. As readers, we are left to wonder what could have been had certain plot threads met their rightful end but these thoughts are drowned amid the torrent of emotions that surround Anakin Skywalker: fear, guilt, betrayal, trust, friendship, and love, and leaving him the burned and mutilated husk of a man eventually reborn as Darth Vader.
“You killed her because, finally, when you could have saved her, when you could have gone away with her, when you could have been thinking about her, you were thinking about yourself…and now your self is all you will ever have.”
“The hero with no fear” is an ironic moniker for Anakin Skywalker as throughout the events of his life leading up to his fall, he lives very much in fear, and rightfully so. Anakin’s childhood as a slave, his love for his lost mother, and wife Padme Amidala, alongside an uncertain future where he perceives the loss of his loved ones, are the instruments of his fall and the crux of his fears. Yet, it is those very same fears that make him who he is, a human.
Master Yoda’s perception and neglect of this basic fact, and the Jedi Council’s twisted interpretation of human emotion run contradictory to their own attachments to the Republic. Consequently, the fall of the Jedi becomes a foregone conclusion and to the readers, a deserving end to an order that had become stale, ignorant, and self-absorbed in its own search and control of power.
“Fear is the path to the dark side. Fear leads to anger. Anger leads to hate. Hate leads to suffering.”
Anakin is reborn in the fires of Mustafar as the newly christened Darth Vader. Despite the various “machinations” that he now dons as the impregnable Dark Lord of the Sith, the final story of the volume, Dark Lord: The Rise of Darth Vader, covers Anakin’s misconceptions, enduring guilt, self-doubt, and his true rise as “the hero with no fear.” With his rise, the Jedi endure a humbling transition under the hand of the galaxy’s ruthless new Emperor and his dreaded right hand, Darth Vader.
The Dark Lord Trilogy is a must-read for all Star Wars fans alike. A tale of epic proportions, the stories add even more perspective to the classic space opera that is Star Wars. While I would not suggest the novella for the newly initiated, the rich literature of the Star Wars universe beckons you forth to a galaxy far, far, away.
You can get started with this guide on the now defunct expanded universe which remains the source of Disney’s inspirations for current Star Wars products.
2019 was a roller-coaster ride, and it is now time to turn the page toward a new year. The ups and downs of 2019 have served to motivate my goals and aspirations, both of which share a common origin in the personal progress my life has witnessed thus far. The ride as a whole stabilized around November, providing me a chance to catch my breath, and get set for what I hope will be a much smoother 2020.
2019 arrived at a crossroads in various facets of my life involving my family, friends, and my career aspirations. Moving into 2020, I have about 1.5 years to go in completing my doctoral degree. 2020 also marks the continuation of a personal and introspective dialogue that has helped me come to terms with who I am as an individual, and who I wish to become in the future.
Looking back, 2019 taught me an important lesson in being careful to not spread myself too thin in my efforts. I had to set aside my “pen” and give myself time to contemplate in solitude. For so long, I had perceived said course of action to be foolish and of no use. 2019 and Yoda proved me wrong.
I needed to be patient enough to first settle my doubts and misgivings before jumping on the irresistible bandwagon that included my lofty dreams and aspirations. I needed to ground myself in reality, and be a little more practical in my approach lest I go crazy with stress. More so, I had to learn to avoid being overly critical of myself which on many occasions led to frustrating results in my writing, and just about everything else, along with a veritable lack of confidence.
The last few months have served as personal rehabilitation. I took a step back, and relaxed. Occasional road-trips helped as well. Altogether, I let life sink in, and every now and then, pondered over the nagging doubts, slowly overcoming my insecurities while solidifying my personal vision for my future. With 2020 at my doorstep, I spent much of December gradually organizing the blue-print for a committed, productive, and practical schedule in my full-time pursuit of a career in writing.
I find writing to be a dynamic activity, and one that is heavily influenced by the writer’s state of mind and day-to-day experiences. What I needed to find was balance in my personal life (as well as share and help my family understand the ensuing changes, the toughest part of it all) and 2019 has been a resounding success in that measure. So, having accomplished this, what exactly do I have in mind for 2020?
I love writing but I’m also too stubborn to give up my love for science. My efforts will thus take me toward a serious pursuit of a career “sun-lighting” as a science writer, and “moon-lighting” as an aspiring author/comic-book artist. The Pensive Reverie has provided me the chance to share my thoughts and opinions with my friends and followers around the world on a variety of topics. I hope to expand that empire of mine while focusing The Pensive Reverie as a hub where I can discuss my interests as an aspiring author/comic-book artist: comic books, book reviews, writing, poetry, anime, art and animation.
Meanwhile, I intend to gradually build a separate audience for The Procrastinating Scientist which will cover my interests as a science writer. While it doesn’t seem like much in the outset, there is a lot involved on both these fronts and I will do my best to post regular updates while fencing with my doctoral studies. With that being said, I wish everyone and all a very…
I awoke this morning, my dry eyes struggling to gain clarity amidst my groggy state. Walking over to the kitchen, I would return and fall back onto my bed, draping a wet compress over my face, sighing in relief as my eyes welcomed the residual moisture.
Taking a moment to clear my mind, I spent the next few minutes recalling the memories of the past year before closing the door upon the roller coaster journey that was 2017. Sitting back against the wall, I looked out the window, only to meet a white landscape. It penetrated the stillness of my surroundings, inciting memories of my crash-landing at the planet Abafar, a few years back, in the company of my good friend R2D2 while ardently binge-watching Star Wars: The Clone Wars.
Our motley crew at Abafar discussing the specs of the planet. Awesome show, for all Star Wars fans out there.
My month long absence has seen me confront the end of a semester of work, and an intense study schedule for final exams. The stress that ensued from said experiences retreated following the two weeks of Christmas break during which I relaxed as I saw fit, by doing absolutely nothing.
A large part of this nothing involved catching up on the sleep I had missed out on over the school year. Christmas Eve was inspired by the excitement that I crafted for my loved ones. The desolate cold of winter, and I mean the -40 degrees Celsius that we Edmontonians love, was supplanted by the nostalgic memories and rituals of time past with my family and friends that I seem to periodically recollect upon this festive occasion.
Winter is a complicated affair for those who live in Edmonton…
but we can always find a way to cozy up.
Time waits for no one but in it’s passing we find life’s wonderful gifts, memories that forever resonate eternal in our hearts. To embrace and cherish the memories of my past, to live the present, and to happily anticipate the future. This is my mantra. Alighting upon a new year, these words echoed resoundingly in my mind.
Often, we can’t see the forest for the trees. New Years is precisely such an occasion. Growing up, New Years was an opportunity to look back upon my mistakes, and resolve my lingering doubts in empty resolutions and promises that never saw the light of day.
Not anymore!
A new year, a new beginning, but not because I’m tying up loose ends of my past while forging ahead toward the future. Rather, it is about embracing and paying due respects to the past, those multitude of experiences, those lost instances that have led me all the way to where I am now.
In that vein, I’m thankful for everything that has happened over the past year. All the ups and downs, as well as the lingering staleness of an uneasy equilibrium between the two, all of it…it was just perfect. Why so? In my opinion, because life has to be so, in order to provide some sort of personal incentive and impetus. I found both on a number of unforgettable occasions that will forever tickle the strings of my heart.
Above all, I learned the importance to stay true to myself, to believe in myself, to fall and learn to get back up on to my feet, to fail so that I may succeed, to never give up, to love and to express said love to those who I considered important. More so, I learned to enjoy life and be thankful for all that I have. Making the best of the present, I found fulfillment in the individual that I am and the one I hope to be a few years down the road.
The past is a reflection of the present, and the present is a gateway to the future in the never-ending journey that is life.
What we consider the present may be nothing more than a temporary and transient construct of time. In a split second, the now may become a window to the past, an instant that is seemingly lost to us, but we always have the choice to make that instant, a timeless memory…
Peace is a lie, there is only passion. Through passion, I gain strength. Through strength, I gain power. Through power, I gain victory. Through victory, my chains are broken. The Force shall free me.
-The Sith Code
There is no emotion, there is peace. There is no ignorance, there is knowledge.There is no passion, there is serenity.There is no chaos, there is harmony.There is no death, there is the Force.
–The Jedi Code
Revan’s search for his identity while strung between the polarizing dictates of the Jedi, and the Sith order, is at the crux of the plot of Star Wars: The Old Republic: Revan.
“Hero, traitor, conqueror, villain, savior-the man called Revan has been all of these.”
Revan left Coruscant as a Jedi, sent on a mission to defeat the Mandalorians, a warrior race immersed in a great tradition for war, and inhabiting the planet of Mandalore. He would prove to be successful, gaining the mask of Mandalore, a ceremonial war mask worn by the leader of the Mandalorians. The mask would become an enduring symbol of Revan’s power, and conquest. But with his rise, Revan fell, returning instead as a Sith Lord bent on destroying the Republic.
The man behind the mask would find his redemption through the love of a young, and promising Jedi named Bastila Shan,
but paid the price for his crimes with the loss of his memories. Guiding the Republic once again through the ravages of his past actions, Revan would assist the Jedi Order to reassert peace in the galaxy.
“At the start, they were not much of a threat to speak of, but once the Jedi Revan had taken charge, things began to turn against us. The Republic fleets began to use more than just basic tactics. Feints, counterattacks, mass deceptions. Revan was a genius on the field. Revan abandoned worlds of their defenders so that others would be too fortified to strike, and was willing to make sacrifices in order to advance goals. And in the end, Revan proved too much for us.” – Canderous Ordo, a Mandalorian.
Now, an exile of the Jedi order, Revan lives a secretive, but comfortable life with his wife Bastila. Nevertheless, he remains tormented by nightmares that seek his return to the past, foreshadowing a growing threat that bodes its time in the dark. In order to recover his memories, and discover the source of the threat, Revan embarks on a journey that would culminate in his struggle against a powerful, and diabolic enemy. His failure could mean the end of the Republic, “but only death can stop him from” succeeding.
And that’s basically it.
A damn good book for any reader interested in the Star Wars lore!
Revan is an excellent book that draws the reader into the world of the Old Republic; a definite recommendation for both Stars Wars, and non-Star Wars fans alike. Though on the outset it may seem to be a story modeled around the journey of Anakin Skywalker, by the end of the book, Revan seals his place as a unique, and powerful character in his own right, within the Star Wars mythology.
What personally drew me to the book, and Revan’s character, was his enduring struggle against a very human desire for power. It is a concept that is at the heart of the central dichotomy of the Jedi, and the Sith, about which several plot lines revolve in the Star Wars universe.
I remember once walking past a blackboard at the university. The board had the message “Peace is …” with an abundance of scrawls, and notes left by other students with their opinions on peace. Their statements were food for thought. I eventually found some empty space at the corner of the board, and felt compelled to write, peace is what power defines. A few months later, I found myself reading Star Wars: The Old Republic: Revan. By the end of the book, I felt compelled once again to believe that peace is nothing more than compromised power.
I’m a fan of the Star Wars universe, and thus I couldn’t help myself in finding analogies to the politics of its worlds with the history of humanity. The current generation of youngsters face a world rapid in its growth, and unraveling in the myriad changes of modern-day society. Strife, inequality, ostracism, and tyranny still seem to echo in this hall of democracy, and unity that humanity seems to believe it represents. I’ve never been a fan of politics, yet I do not shun knowledge of its principles, and also understand its contribution to society.
What is peace? It is a difficult question, and a unique answer is nigh impossible. I personally believe peace is a phase, somewhat like a smaller gear, in a larger system that defines society. While it may be revered, and glorified as an ideal of the highest standard, along with justice, and morality, peace is still very much a concept that adheres to the beliefs, and feelings of an individual as it would as a social contract to a greater populace.
In the Star Wars mythology, the Jedi Council, and the Sith seem to be two sides of the same coin, vying for power, though the Jedi distinguish themselves in their motivation towards peace, and harmony. While the Sith are open in their passion for power, the Jedi stand their ground as their counterpart, proclaiming themselves as protectors of the Republic. Revan, having been a hero of the Jedi, and a dark lord of the Sith, illustrates the illusions surrounding the motivations of both “cults.”
“Is that what he was? Or was he always true to himself, no matter what personality he wore? And there is something that the Council may never understand. That perhaps Revan never fell. The difference between a fall and a sacrifice is sometimes difficult, but I feel that Revan understood that difference, more than anyone knew. The galaxy would have fallen if Revan had not gone to war. Perhaps he became the dark lord out of necessity, to prevent a greater evil.” – Sith Lord Kreia
As time passes, the Jedi grow stronger, unified in their purpose, while the Sith dwindle, succumbing to their lust for power that results in inner strife, and ultimately their demise. But after a millenia, the roles are reversed, and the Jedi are overthrown by the Sith. Having reached the status as peacekeepers of the Republic, the Jedi removed themselves from society, preferring the solace of their temples, and archives. In their rule, we see a shadow of Plato’s vision of a “Republic” ruled by philosophical warriors.
The Jedi Temple
But by throwing away their identity as peace-keepers (or social workers), the Jedi council’s disjunct views clash with societal, and communal paradigms, resulting in peace becoming a tool used to maintain the Republic that is now the foundation of the Jedi council’s political power, and authority. Consequently, the Jedi fall victim to their own vanity. Meanwhile, the Sith’s ability to reassess, manipulate, and even become subservient to the current state of affairs, over generations, helps in their recovery, and victory over the Jedi.
Revan, Anakin Skywalker, and other popular characters of the Star Wars lore symbolize this contest between the two factions, often defined as an eternal conflict towards balance in the force. Taken in the context of the Republic, and its citizens, this could also define the efforts toward a stable government. Revan’s position as an exile, and his dual personality as a Sith Lord, and a Jedi Master, help him succeed when he may be doomed to fail. By the end of the book, Revan doesn’t necessarily find answers to all his questions. Instead, he finds his peace in the hope that the future of his loved ones is safe.
Peace is an ideal, and may never be achieved completely. It is a notion that requires us to address our own failures, individually, and as a species. While its results may be temporary, it is in the hope of such an ideal that our wars are waged, our beliefs are found, and our lives are balanced. In conclusion, peace is a question without an answer. Revan is a metaphor of this truth.
“Who I am is not important, my message is.” – Darth Revan
I apologize for the brief absence. I’ve had a difficult, but ultimately, successful week, as I completed the first draft of my Masters thesis.
It began with the usual fanfare,
though eventually, I ended up secluding myself in a fort of notes, research papers, and a bright computer screen to keep me company as I grilled my way through the challenge.
Having completed the first draft, I can now look forward to the next stage of my thesis which would focus on editing my work, a task that is slightly less painful!
I’m also right on schedule to complete my second book by the end of summer, and am intent to set aside more time for writing on a daily basis.
I will be posting my book review/discussion on Star Wars: The Old Republic: Revan, and the topic of peace as a euphemism for power tomorrow evening.
“Who I am is not important, my message is.” ―Revan
I intend to spend my entire day writing at the library, with the occasional swing of reading from Carl Sagan’s The Dragons of Eden, seeking inspiration in the beautiful summer weather, attending a robotics seminar in between, followed by even more writing!
So look forward to a new post very soon! I hope you all find it engaging!
Apart from being excited about the influx of likes, and new followers (to all of whom I give a hearty welcome to The Pensive Reverie), I have been busy the past week compiling the latest of results that I will have to submit in my Masters thesis. It is a killer, but it has been an enjoyable experience so far, and I can’t wait to continue on towards PhD studies in Robotics!
Leina, and I, along with our close friends also had the chance to enjoy some beautiful fireworks by Saskatchewan Drive, last weekend, as we celebrated Canada Day! It was a beautiful evening, despite occasional mosquito bites, and the eventual downpour of rain.
Having tackled “Constructing an Identity,” I’ve now decided on a second topic to post. It has been cooking in my mind for a few weeks, particularly after a highly encouraging, and ridiculously cheese-vegilicious Make-Your-Own-Pizza session at home!
It was worth the try! Probably my second serious attempt at baking anything!
Oh yes, I love cooking! I tend to liken my approach to cooking with that of a creative activity, allowing me to mix the right ratio of spices, and broths of my taste, to help stimulate my mind, as well as satiate my hunger. In that creative vein, I found a suitable candidate for the next topic I would like to address in this blog, regarding the notion of peace as a euphemism for power.
I intend to once again use a medium of my choice, in this case a brief book review of Star Wars: The Old Republic: Revan, and a good dose of reference to the extended universe of the franchise, to guide my discussion of the topic.
A damn, good book for any reader interested in the Star Wars lore!
Though I haven’t finalized a date on when I will publish the post, I’m hoping to complete it, and have it up on the blog within a week or so. In the meanwhile, I will post short messages on my daily adventures, and on anything interesting that catches my eye.
The Pensive Reverie 