Firstly, this post doesn’t pertain to any discussion On the Nature of Knowledge. I’m still piecing together my ideas for that post, and will post it later this week. I’m here today to simply talk about the fun I had this weekend revisiting old memories! Just this Saturday, I attended a series of events celebrating Indie Author Day at the Edmonton Public Library.
The experience was a lot of fun, and was a motivational reminder on my aspirations to become a successful writer. Having attended a few sessions ranging from discussions on self-publishing, marketing, to friendly advice on just getting your stories heard, I was thoroughly enthused to get back on my writer’s bandwagon by the time I returned home. For those among my followers who may not know, I’m a self-published author. My first book was Our Last Summer: A Personal Memoir detailing my experiences in Sudan where I completed my secondary education. The book is dedicated to my closest friends, in memory of our time together at Khartoum American School (K.A.S.), as well as my loving family.
I started writing the book back in 2009, and it was published around the summer of 2013 after having undergone a tedious but highly enlightening process of editing, book binding, and marketing with the assistance of iUniverse, a self-publishing company. My original intentions were to continuously promote the book afterward and hopefully help in its sales. My earlier blog, ourlastsummer2013, was meant for this. But, life happened, and following the publication of the book, I became quite jaded about writing and myself. I was also enmeshed in my personal identity crisis. Consequently, my promotional efforts were cut short, and I took a break from writing.
Three years down the road, I found myself sitting in a room filled with Indie authors, spending a few hours re-reading the passages in my book, and revisiting many forgotten memories of my past. I had recovered from my identity crisis thanks to my friends, and family, and am now close to completing a second book that has been in the works for two years. By revisiting said memories of a forgotten summer, I was able to reassess my growth as an individual during the last seven years of my life, ever since I commenced my post-secondary education at the University of Alberta. I was also able to recognize the significant influence writing Our Last Summer had in my life, and felt sad that the book never got the personal recognition it deserved from its own author.
Ever since my childhood, I’ve been passionate about two things: learning and asking questions. These two attributes contribute to my personality as an autodidact and have been the main benefactors towards my motivation for higher studies, and academic pursuits in various fields from astrophysics, biophysics, plasma physics, and in the near future, robotics. My academic interests were also complemented by my love for writing, music, and art. Throughout my life, I’ve been able to engage and enhance my creativity and skills in these different subjects.
Having completed my Masters, and on the verge of finishing my second book, I’m now motivated to unite my interests toward a unique career. I have no idea what exactly it will be, but it certainly will have a mix of everything from being a scientist, writer, and an artist. It will be an infusion of the freedom and happiness I’ve found in my writing, engaging my imaginations and bringing them to fruition through my art and music, and sharing my comprehension of what I learn about the surrounding world to my friends, family, and to all of you! Part of that effort will now involve my dedication toward revamping the promotions on my first book Our Last Summer: A Personal Memoir. I will use The Pensive Reverie (and the Facebook group) along with my Twitter account to provide for promotional materials every now and then ranging from tidbits from the book, to free e-book passes, and reviews.
I sincerely ask all those who follow this blog to help and support my efforts by spreading the word as much as they can and getting others to tune in to the blog as well as my book. The book is available online (just Google it), as well as on popular bookstores (Chapters, Barnes and Noble, Kobo etc.) I will provide more info, including some promo materials, and sneak peeks on Our Last Summer along with my next post On the Nature of Knowledge.
Until then, thanks so much everyone, and have a great day!
Just wanted to send out a brief update on the topic I have decided to discuss for my next post. It took a few days of deliberation and careful thought, and given my recent completion of graduate studies, I felt it would be ideal to discuss On the nature of knowledge.
I’m well aware of the various intricacies and the large volume of literature dedicated to this subject (it is in fact a field called epistemology.) As usual, my treatment of the topic will revolve around my personal experiences albeit with some casual references to quotations and critical analyses provided by professional savants.
I wish to focus, in particular, on the role of knowledge, and how it is integrated and implemented in current educational trends at schools and universities. As an aspiring PhD student, and as an autodidact, my views on education vary from the classroom to my personal work-space at home. I have often questioned the purpose of the knowledge that I have accumulated throughout my life, both in social and academic contexts, and how to appropriately and selectively apply said knowledge in my daily adventures as a foundation towards a healthy lifestyle. Such a thought has also widely influenced my methods of finding means to an end when it comes to my dreams to be a multi-talented and well-rounded individual.
Having successfully completed another major phase of education in my Masters degree, I felt it would be entertaining to discuss a question that has been quite significant in my daily life, and is pretty much a common occurrence in almost everyone’s daily lives and careers.
I should have the post up by the end of this weekend. Until then, toodles!
It has been over a month since my last post. My absence was of necessity as in that time I successfully defended my Masters thesis, and completed my graduate degree in Physics. The whole ordeal has kept me busy for over two months, and I’m now happy to return and engage everyone again on this blog.
Just yesterday, I received official confirmation of my thesis’ approval. The reality is yet to sink in but having spent the afternoon clearing up my desk space at home, and organizing a large pile of scrap including research papers and calculations, I can say I’m thoroughly enjoying this new reality that is Ajay Peter Manuel, MSc. Physics.
Leading up to the thesis defense, I was surprised that I wasn’t nervous at all. My classmates and supervisor attributed this to my hard work over the past two years, and consequently, a collective boost in confidence concerning my research. The defense began somewhere along the lines of,
“Friends and strangers from distant lands…we are gathered here today to discuss my research on the Single Dielectric Barrier Discharge Plasma Actuator over the past two years…”
and ended along the lines of,
Where are all these questions coming from?!
Jokes aside, it was an engaging and wonderful learning experience, as I thoroughly enjoyed jousting with the audience and the committee’s questions. I then spent the following week making the necessary revisions (a short and easy process) for my thesis, format it according to the rules and regulations set by the Faculty of Graduate Studies and Research, and finally got it approved yesterday!
And now, I’m all set to embark on a new adventure in my life. While working part-time as a student tutor, I will be studying in preparation for my PhD in Robotics on September 2017. The year long transition will allow me to relax, and sink back into my writing, music, art, and just about enjoy life everyday. Meanwhile, this will also provide me ample time to consistently write posts on The Pensive Reverie. I thank everyone for being patient so far! Look forward to an update very soon on my next post!
Also, a big shout out to my loving parents and sister, my wonderful partner, and all my friends who have supported and helped me make it this far. Thanks so much!
Still can’t believe I made it this far! It’s just the beginning to an even bigger adventure!
I apologize for the brief absence. The last two weeks have been a hectic affair. It mostly involved me sitting in front of my computer, editing, and re-editing my thesis in what seemed then to be an endless cycle.
All of this contributed to a lack of sleep,
mixed with a great sense of pride, and achievement, as I submitted the final copy of my thesis to the committee today.
Of course, there is still the possibility of future revisions, but the major chunk of editing has been done, and as such it should hopefully be a cake walk from here on. I will be defending my thesis in four weeks, and will be busy with preparations for that particular occasion.
I’ve also begun making my plans for the next phase of my life after the completion of my Masters, which will involve a one-year transition period before I begin my PhD studies in Robotics. It’s an exciting prospect, and I can’t wait to get started.
I now have more time in my hands to play with, and provide for frequent updates on the blog. In my previous post, I’d mentioned that my next critical review would involve the subject of Electricity: Principles, and Applications. I’ve decided instead to tweak the subject matter, and will use my Masters thesis research on a device called the Single Dielectric Barrier Discharge (SDBD) Plasma Actuator (I admit, it’s a mouthful) as a platform to discuss the topic. The review should be up on the blog by the end of this week!
The myriad thunderstorms, hail, and the unexpected blackout made for an adventurous, and delightful long weekend. A most notable account would involve the consistent hail that battered against my balcony windows, followed by severe lightning flashes that struck close to my apartment, persuading me to disconnect my electrical devices (lest they got fried), along with the ensuing thunder that caused my eardrums to ring periodically.
The whole scenario had its share of perks, namely some delicious dining at home, lots of board games, romantic walks in the rainfall, and pure, unadulterated procrastination. The highlight of the weekend was the blackout the day before yesterday. I could attribute the event to be equivalent to what this guy had to experience,
I’m stuck in an ATM vestibule with Jill Goodacre!
A lightning strike near our neighborhood resulted in a loss of electricity across the entire block, lasting for three hours. I enjoyed the throwback to a world without electricity. Having just returned from Chapters, following the purchase of an updated summer reading list,
I’ve opted to begin with “Brave New World.” A book review should be due in the near future! The best part of the purchase was the 3 for $10 sale!
Leina, and I passed the hours, reading, and discussing the significant contributions of electricity to modern day life. It was relieving to not be bogged down with the usual streams of technology governing our daily entertainment.
The experience also provided ample food for thought, particularly on humanity’s dependence on technology, as well as the plight of third-world nations that may struggle for such basic (as would seem to those who live in first-world countries) resources.
All of which leads me to the subject of my next critical blog post: Electricity: Principles, and Applications. The post will be a brief review of the theory behind electricity, as well as its principal applications in our daily lives. The review will follow upon the format of various other popular science articles, and I hope to make it concise, and understandable for all my readers.
Meanwhile, I will spend the week continuing to edit my thesis. A preliminary date for my defense has been chosen, though it is yet to be confirmed. Apart from this, I’m also busy finishing up my second novel!
The long weekend was apt for inspiration, and I have several writing, art, and music projects aligned for the future! I hope to fill the absence until I post Electricity with brief updates on my daily thoughts, adventures, and blog modifications!
I’m yet to successfully defend my thesis before the supervisory committee, and as such can make no claims to having completed my thesis. Nevertheless, this won’t stop me from relishing the relief that follows having “hammered” out a 100 page first draft detailing my work over the past two years.
My friend here knows what I mean about accomplishments via “hammering.”
My personal treat on the eve of this achievement was to go to my first movie premiere. It was a Tamil movie, titled ‘Kabali.’ The movie features the actor Rajinikanth, who is possibly one of my favorites among various others in the South Indian film fraternity.
Along with Leina, and a good friend, we attended the premiere last Thursday. While we enjoyed the movie, our night ended with partial deafness, and loss of hearing, from the raucous cheering, and entertainment that the audience (about 300 other Tamilians) provided throughout the outing.
The entire event was reminiscent of the chaotic fun that results in the premiere of every Rajinikanth movie in India, and it was a once in a lifetime experience for the three of us.
All of which leads me back to where I am now. Come September 2016, I will have lived in Edmonton for a total of 7 years. Time has certainly flown by! It still feels like yesterday when I was sitting in an old lecture hall, voraciously digesting the lecture notes for a Physics 101 course.Having recently turned 25, I feel an even greater sense of responsibility, and ambition that I intend to carry over to the next phase of my life.
Much of August will focus on editing my thesis, and making the necessary preparations for my defense. I’m hoping that everything will go according to plan. And now, I shall leave you all with this brief update, as I contemplate the subject of my next blog post. I intend to have it up by this weekend, along with an “info” sheet on the various new additions that will be made to the blog, and its structure. Until then, toodles!
I apologize for the brief absence. I’ve had a difficult, but ultimately, successful week, as I completed the first draft of my Masters thesis.
It began with the usual fanfare,
though eventually, I ended up secluding myself in a fort of notes, research papers, and a bright computer screen to keep me company as I grilled my way through the challenge.
Having completed the first draft, I can now look forward to the next stage of my thesis which would focus on editing my work, a task that is slightly less painful!
I’m also right on schedule to complete my second book by the end of summer, and am intent to set aside more time for writing on a daily basis.
I will be posting my book review/discussion on Star Wars: The Old Republic: Revan, and the topic of peace as a euphemism for power tomorrow evening.
“Who I am is not important, my message is.” ―Revan
I intend to spend my entire day writing at the library, with the occasional swing of reading from Carl Sagan’s The Dragons of Eden, seeking inspiration in the beautiful summer weather, attending a robotics seminar in between, followed by even more writing!
So look forward to a new post very soon! I hope you all find it engaging!
An Incomplete Eloquence – a pretty interesting article on the use of marginalia, and a reader’s relationship to a book.
I don’t agree with all the points made by the author. After all, it is quite possible a person who defers the use of marginalia, isn’t necessarily failing to build a “relationship” with the book, nor is guilty of not having “used” it well. Simply, the book may just be boring, inciting no particular inspiration in the reader. It may also be a personal preference of the reader, who in reality, may enjoy an interesting read, and find the necessity to pause, and collect their thoughts rather distracting.
The article was a pleasant coincidence, as I’ve spent the past month raking in a variety of book purchases amidst the summer sales at Chapters (the bookstore), and been recently debating between either using marginalia in those books or to document my thoughts in a separate journal! For now, I’ve decided to use a separate diary to compile my ideas, and analysis of the passages on the books I’ve read.
Nevertheless, I must admit there is “An Incomplete Eloquence” in the extensive use of marginalia that I myself utilized to a great extent throughout the course of my undergraduate studies.
I can testify that the content of a few of my undergraduate physics books in quantum mechanics, or statistical mechanics are pretty similar to this one, and could basically describe a book within another!
Apart from being excited about the influx of likes, and new followers (to all of whom I give a hearty welcome to The Pensive Reverie), I have been busy the past week compiling the latest of results that I will have to submit in my Masters thesis. It is a killer, but it has been an enjoyable experience so far, and I can’t wait to continue on towards PhD studies in Robotics!
Leina, and I, along with our close friends also had the chance to enjoy some beautiful fireworks by Saskatchewan Drive, last weekend, as we celebrated Canada Day! It was a beautiful evening, despite occasional mosquito bites, and the eventual downpour of rain.
Having tackled “Constructing an Identity,” I’ve now decided on a second topic to post. It has been cooking in my mind for a few weeks, particularly after a highly encouraging, and ridiculously cheese-vegilicious Make-Your-Own-Pizza session at home!
It was worth the try! Probably my second serious attempt at baking anything!
Oh yes, I love cooking! I tend to liken my approach to cooking with that of a creative activity, allowing me to mix the right ratio of spices, and broths of my taste, to help stimulate my mind, as well as satiate my hunger. In that creative vein, I found a suitable candidate for the next topic I would like to address in this blog, regarding the notion of peace as a euphemism for power.
I intend to once again use a medium of my choice, in this case a brief book review of Star Wars: The Old Republic: Revan, and a good dose of reference to the extended universe of the franchise, to guide my discussion of the topic.
A damn, good book for any reader interested in the Star Wars lore!
Though I haven’t finalized a date on when I will publish the post, I’m hoping to complete it, and have it up on the blog within a week or so. In the meanwhile, I will post short messages on my daily adventures, and on anything interesting that catches my eye.
It is a question that everyone asks at some point in their lives, and characterizes an individual’s struggle to define their identity, relative to themselves, and the world. Understanding this allows one to examine, as well as recognize, their own potential, and qualities as an individual. It is also highly influential in one’s decision on who they choose to be, particularly in relation to their social circumstances.
I’d spent the past week wrestling with this concept, that incidentally suffers heavily from the bias of vague, and open-ended statements. It is also an onerous task to maintain a degree of impartiality in discussing the various facets of a concept that is implicitly co-dependent on the individual, and their environment. Thus, for the sake of brevity, and a measure of focus, I will abstain from a generalized mode of approach, and inject a dose of my personal experience, as a third culture kid (TCK), to guide my review of this subject.
What is a TCK?
A third culture kid is a term used to describe children who were raised in a culture, or an environment outside of their parents’ culture for a significant part of their years of development.
Self-identity is a measure of an individual’s growth, and is paralleled by their personal intelligence. Self-knowledge is the understanding of oneself, and one’s motives, or character. Personal intelligence is the exhibition of this self-knowledge, allowing one to correctly evaluate oneself, and others. Possessing personal intelligence also allows individuals to acknowledge their own limitations.
Altogether, it could be said that this triad of elements, and their dynamics in an individual define his/her personality. An analogy can be made to the form of ideas, and their subsequent expression via actions. The question of identity is a sponsoring thought, precursor to the ideas that form the foundation of our self-knowledge, to ultimately result in the growth of our personal intelligence exercised in our ability to adapt to our environment, and our decisions.
In constructing one’s identity, an individual confronts the objective of maintaining a balance between these three elements, while remaining open to an assortment of external influences that pervade one’s environment. This balance exemplifies the ideal “perfection” that every individual may seek as dictated by the boundaries of their life.
Perfection was of paramount importance to this particular individual.
An Identity Crisis
An identity crisis is not so much a crisis as it is a natural consequence of life. One may experience such an issue at any point in their life, and at times, repeatedly.
In my case, the root of the crisis was in the difference of my views, along with the influx of conflicting “agents” that set about the expansion of my world. It was a process that eventually led me to acknowledge my status as a TCK.
These so-called “agents” were the structures about which my life revolved, and a casual listing of a few would include: culture, religion, family, education, and personal experience. My identity crisis originated from a combination of these factors, and had a significant influence in my mental, and physical maturity.
Every individual we meet in life maintains a unique view of the world, none of them being perfect. At times, we aren’t conscious of this world view, and there is an associated vagueness on the rules that we abide by, or prefer to choose, in leading our lives. Problems in self-identity arise as reason pierces this vagueness that clouds our psyche.
My exposure to a clash of cultures, and my daily interactions during my life at Egypt, Sudan, Sierra Leone, and Canada, the differences in religious rituals, and conversations, the changes in family dynamics as well as the choices made in my personal education, and the acceptance of selective experiences allowed for clarity, and a brand new integrated perspective on the rules, and standards that dictated my life.
My struggle primarily concerned communicating my differing views, and perspectives within the conservative habitat of my family. To call for blame was redundant, and the solution followed the simple necessity of an open conversation, but the path to it was fraught with afflictions of self-doubt, and a gradual disintegration of the boundaries that once delegated my life. I often liken it to seeing the two faces of a coin, describing the dual identity I maintained, while in contention with an objective to delineate the appropriate behavioral balance in between.
What is the bigger picture?
The environment contributed vastly to my progress. My childhood was predominantly in India, in a society that constituted a collective form of individuality, where there is a preference for group mentality, particularly surrounding family relationships. As a ten year old, I was not able to critically assess my status in this culture.
The rest of my life was spent traveling from country to country, completing my secondary education in Egypt, followed by my higher-secondary studies in Sudan. While my family would continue in their collective journey to Sierra Leone, I decided to pursue studies at the University of Alberta, in Edmonton, Canada, and where I am now to this day.
In between these transitions, I slowly confronted the persisting doubts, and questions I had of the various cultures, and communities where I had lived. This led to the conflict between the conservative dynamics of my family, and the open attitude I embraced in my life.
I found the inability to openly discuss individual differences within my culture as a major obstacle in communication. Social interactions would rather become a form of control (abusive or non-abusive), followed by an equally weighted concern for internal, and external judgment. Influence seemed a selective process relegated upon the younger population via the codes of conduct (or ritual) held in high esteem by the older fraternity.
On the other hand, the allure of an open approach towards life, fostered an independent attitude, and relationships. There was an inherent favoritism towards the individual, and his/her actions could reflect along the lines of, “You do what is right for you-haters gonna hate.”
Confronted by these differences, I decided to choose the best of both worlds. It is a choice that I still debate, and contend with. My identity crisis entertains a search for balance between the differing values, and ways of life in the two communities. Neither was perfect, and both had their share of deficiencies, and advantages.
How do we make the right decisions?
It is the final destination. An identity crisis ultimately comes to debating the right course of action. In my opinion, there is no one absolute answer.
The choice of identity is a highly selective, and fast-evolving process. At the end of the day, it really is up to the individual to decide on what they wish to believe in, and the path they choose to pursue.
It would be highly favorable if this decision is made with an open mind that not only acknowledges the compromises that may be made, but also the necessity to remove oneself from an environment that may not be suitable in their lives.
This willingness to separate oneself from their immediate world, can be accompanied by a healthy endeavor to integrate the multitude of perspectives, and views that concern their life.
To what end?
My comments on the prior section may provide an air of selfishness about the individual in choosing their well-being over that of others. In my own life, my choice to follow a unique path was falsely viewed as an act of selfishness. This is very common, as we are after all discussing an issue that pits an individual against his/her immediate environment, and peers. Thus, it is natural to have a difference of views, or a parting of ways among the subjects involved.
Identity is an evolving concept. It is a lifelong transition, and depending on the individual, it may or may not find a resolution. I’m still very much in the process of constructing my identity, and have found my resolve by focusing on my dreams, and aspirations. Compromises have to be made, and is inherent in our struggles to find a place for ourselves in this world.
But, in the end, what matters the most is that we do so being true to ourselves, and who we wish to be. While doubts, and misgivings may persist, it is up to us to keep pushing forward, even when a resolution may not be evident, in this grand adventure that is life, for isn’t that what it means to be human?
We might not be together every day, and the coming of one adventure, may mean the end of another, but no matter what we do, or where we are, the bonds that we have shared with each, and every person along the way will never break. That’s what it means to live free.
To my readers
This post describes my personal opinions on this complex subject. I invite critical comments, and discussions.
The Pensive Reverie 