To be Continued…

“Saying is one thing; doing is another.”

I spent the last few months in what amounted to a roller-coaster ride “parallel processing” all the variables that regulate my present life, and those I must now consider for my future.

I’m a guy who likes to live in the moment and not have to think too far ahead so, obviously, this was a problem. The floodgates opened with a series of conversations at work after I had successfully completed my candidacy examination.

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I was perfectly poised at the halfway point of my PhD degree, and on a near-constant basis, caught up in various conversations revolving around a necessity to plan ahead and begin setting the foundations for my career aspirations.

While much of the advice I received was in good spirit, it was quite overwhelming to take in all at once. It also served as a bitter pill that I hadn’t fully pushed myself to ask the important questions and seek the necessary answers for my future.

Thankfully, with this post, I can confidently say that I’m now on the road to getting my shit together and fully committing to my career aspirations.

Passions vs. Priorities

The world revolves around money, and I would be stupid to fool myself otherwise. I needed a good plan, and a backup to that plan, on top of another backup to my backup.

With that said, I spent the last few months heavily researching, not so much in science, but in life. I identified my passions as well as the priorities that come naturally as you grow older. As usual, it will ultimately be a balancing act, and one that I’m eager to dive into.

The goal: find a secure day-time job that fits my academic and scientific interests (ideally, a science writer), and serve as somewhat of a financial coverage, while simultaneously moonlight as a writer/artist….

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Who will take over the world!

Teaching at the university… 

My outlook on such a future was further strengthened in a recent opportunity as a guest lecturer for a higher-level undergraduate course at the university. As a teenager, I was a huge fan of the works of Carl Sagan. I was captivated by his ability to communicate complicated concepts in such concise and measured language.

Preparing for the lecture, I would try to emulate Sagan in my own way.  Unlike the usual recipe of wrestling with the concepts in my own privacy, I would wrestle with ideas on how to communicate my research to these undergraduate students.

The lecture itself would go “smoothly,”

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From what I gathered talking to a few of the students, they seemed to have understood the points I had tried to get across. It was also clear I had a long way to go until I could reach the level of Dr. Sagan. Set against the backdrop of inner monologues on my career aspirations, the guest lecture experience was beneficial and altogether, a lot of fun.  

Looking ahead

With that being said, I am now in full-time pursuit of setting the foundations of my career in writing and art. Moving forward, there are two major changes I wished to share with my readers:

(1) A science blog, established independently from The Pensive Reverie, that I will publish this coming week on WordPress. It will serve as my primary platform towards my efforts to becoming a science writer.

(2) The continuation and refocusing of The Pensive Reverie as more of a personal outlet (along the lines of this post’s content) to share my daily adventures and thoughts in my efforts to moonlight as an author/artist.

That covers most of the fun surprises I have in store for all of you. I will see you all again very soon with a new post, and a new blog to boot on top of it!

You are not alone…

Holding your hand, I walk by your side. The joy in your eyes, a vibrant flame that nurtures the promise I made in a dream to cherish, and protect you forever.

With our continued acquaintance, I remain satisfied, the depth of our bond personified in a silence that renders words impotent amidst the emotions that persist.

I had found you in the void, where you lay alone, the light of your heart shimmering in the darkness that clung to your shoulders.

Unable to discern your truth against the tempest of your soul, I embraced you in a vow to help you break free of the shadows.

Urging you to smile in a struggle that perseveres, unyielding to the passage of time, I fail continuously to wrest the burdens of your heart.

But in this grudging hour, where I’m forced to accept the truth of my own limitations, I find a greater purpose to our journey together.

Encouraging me to stay strong, to remain at your side, to live for the moments when I can see your beautiful smile.

It is a sweet pain that indulges my efforts, to maintain my promise to you, so that even when I stumble, I find joy in the knowledge that you are a part of me, as I am of you, bound together and forever.

Believing yourself to be imperfect, broken, you collapsed under the weight of your doubts, falling victim to your own thoughts.

Inspired by the same, I will strive to help you understand, that beyond those imperfections and the broken reflection you may perceive, you are the innocent and graceful soul whom I love and wish to set free.

I wish for you to be happy, and though I may not know exactly what I’ll be able to do for you, if there is one thing that I would want you to remember, now and to the end of time, it is that I will be with you, and that you are not alone…

To the heavens, I will set my eyes, in hopes of the day when I shall find thee, flying free…

A New Chapter…

Collecting Memories

Who am I? What is my purpose?

For as long as I can remember, I have contemplated the measure of these questions, and yet it is in their stubborn company, that I’ve discovered the foundations of my future ambitions, and dreams. It is a journey that I’ve recounted with great enthusiasm, and vigor in Our Last Summer, and of recent, in Agent X.

Thinking back over the 25 years that have comprised my existence, I’m grateful for all that life has offered me. It is an experience that I liken to a blissful dream or even a pensive reverie (no pun intended), and one that is yet to end. To cherish the memories of the past, to live the present to the fullest, and happily anticipate the future; this is my motto, a personal philosophy that I’ve maintained throughout the countless adventures, and memorable experiences that have made me the man I am today.

And yet, despite all my progress, life still manages to surprise me at every end.

 On Love

What captivates me the most is the peculiar nature with which we carry ourselves; each of us dictated, and bound by what we accept to be true. But, truth is merely a vague concept. At times, it is a fact that is provided to us by the institutions that we are born into, or the ideologies that we digest from the surrounding environment. Ultimately, the reality that we find in its promises may all be a mirage, a world that is conceived by nothing more than our individual beliefs, and thus leading us to wrongly judge others based on our own preconceptions, and by their appearances.

It is a struggle that resonates in the very fabric of human communication, and yet it is in its assured reality that we also discover our greatest freedom. A freedom that is constituted by our ability to accept the same, and move forward with goodwill, and faith; a freedom that prompts us to accept our inhibitions, and misgivings, allowing us to find unity amid the differences that set us apart in an emotion that we call love.

It takes great courage to fall in love, for by falling in love we also admit to our greatest fears, and learn to rise above them (at least, that’s how it turned out in my life). I found the answers to my questions in love. As such, I’m thankful for the support I have received from my family; I’m grateful for the acceptance I’ve found among my friends; and I’m happy beyond words in the fulfillment of the bond I share with my partner.

Life, as it is…

Much of what I’ve learned has revolved around the complex, and diverse rituals of relationships that constitute the flow of daily life; a fundamental theme that forms the basis of my work in Our Last Summer, and Agent X. Now, as I venture upon the horizon of a new chapter, I can’t help but sift through the pages of my past in what has been a humbling experience from my childhood, to my teenage years, all the way to where I’m now contemplating, drifting amid the warm winds of a summer night, the wonders of life, as it is…

“A man is but a product of his thoughts; what he thinks, he becomes.” – Mahatma Gandhi