Tag: Life

2021 – Turning the page on 2020

Firstly, belated Happy New Year greetings to all my readers!!!

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Shortly after my previous post at the end of November, I embarked on a PC building mission that I had been planning for nearly a year. After eight years of usage, my lovely laptop (a Lenovo G505s) deserved a break. It was also time that I switched gears to a PC to accommodate my personal aspirations in digital art and writing. The occasional gaming came as a bonus.

Being a complete amateur to building a PC, I spent much of November reading up on the parts required to build a system while planning my budget for the subsequent purchases. Though it seemed intimidating in the beginning, once the individual parts began to arrive, I couldn’t help but feel excited.

As Edmonton edged toward another Covid-19 lockdown mid-December, I bundled up all the parts onto my office space in my apartment and began building the PC. I was determined to finish the process over the course of a day, and I was mighty proud that I was able to. Reading up on the process as well as watching multiple Youtube videos of others’ mistakes beforehand really made a world of a difference.

I would succeed in completing the build by the afternoon and following a nerve wracking few minutes while turning on the power supply, I was elated to find that my efforts paid off in a fully functioning PC that is now geared with my favorite games, and digital art software.

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Unfortunately, thanks to a sensitive nose and a sudden drop in temperatures the same day, I would end up falling sick the following day. It wouldn’t be until late December that my circadian rhythm would right itself amid the change in weather, setting me off on my path to recovery, and finally being able to use my PC.

Over the last week, I’ve enjoyed the near silent workspace environment of my PC amidst some much-needed gaming and writing to cap off 2020. The next four months will be important as I round up my doctoral studies, and even more importantly, as my wife and I expect the newest member of our family.  

2020 has been a tough year for many around the world. I’m thankful to the enduring support of my friends and family who have been so positive through it all. I’m also thankful to my loving wife who has been my strength and inspiration throughout this period. Stepping foot into 2021, I can’t wait to embark on a new journey with you and our little one. As a father-to-be, I intend to put to good use the sleepless nights that are to follow working on the final and most grueling phase of my graphic novel: drawing it all out. I also look forward to fully committing to a career in writing and animation following the completion of my doctoral studies.

As opposed to what may have been a very static 2020, I hope and wish 2021 will be a year of promising, and exciting transitions for everyone. I look forward to seeing you all in my follow up post where I shall detail my PC building process for those who are interested in building your very own PC from scratch.

Staying Afloat

The last few months have been positively engaging amid a busy schedule of activities from career networking, science writing conferences, symposiums, script writing, and a whole lot of research related to my PhD.

Rounding up the last lap of my doctoral studies, I had get as much work done as possible on relevant academic publications related to my thesis research. Amid the continuing restrictions posed by the pandemic, I couldn’t have gotten far in terms of progress had it not been for my peers and colleagues who have assisted me, and continue to do so, throughout this time period. I’m sincerely grateful for their efforts. Advancing into 2021, the weather forecast predicts books, and a whole lot of studying as I prepare for my thesis defense. All in all, I’ve kept busy and productive.

Studies aside, looking toward a post-academic future, career networking has been a must. I had a blast attending two stellar events in ScienceWriters2020 and ComSciConCanWest. Geared towards aspiring science writers, both events served as portals into the world of science writing. Though I couldn’t attend every single speaker session, the networking rooms offered by the two events were more than sufficient in providing a great sense of clarity toward pursuing a career in science communication and writing. I intend to have a separate post discussing both events for any aspiring science writers in my audience.

Much of the networking involved pretty much this as a first step with a more friendly and potentially rewarding approach.

Script writing concerning my graphic novel remains a slug fest but I can now see the light at the end of the tunnel. Weaving, ducking, and resolving the various plot holes and inconsistencies has helped me polish and fine tune the story to the best it can be. The script shall be ready by the end of the year, at which point the writing journey comes to an end and the artistic journey begins.

Staying afloat amid all of this seemed a daunting challenge but against the backdrop of joy and excitement as an expectant father, my doubts and uncertainties simply vanished. It has been an enlightening process supporting my lovely wife over the last few months of her pregnancy. Even more so, the experience has only increased my admiration and respect for her strength and patience through it all. The happiness of becoming a father notwithstanding, I can’t wait for all the sleepless nights that beckon in the near future. I’m sure I can put them to good use while simultaneously studying for my thesis defense.

That’s all for today folks! Catch you all at my next blog post!

The Art of Perseverance

When you arrive at a crossroad in life, you can guarantee that it will come with its fair share of mixed feelings and emotions. The last month has been just that amidst some giant leaps and developments in my personal life, and ergo, my absence from The Pensive Reverie. It has all been about perseverance amidst the changes that I expect moving forward (delightful as they are) in a committed relationship with my partner and one which will invite company in due time.

The experience has had far-reaching implications, often to hilarious effect, in various aspects of my life. From an adventurous sleeping cycle and a total re-organization of daily activities, the last month has kept me thinking if I’m back at the university dorms doing undergraduate studies.

Jokes aside, these recent developments have also led to difficult engagements in other aspects of my life largely revolving around family. Long back, I had written a post titled Constructing an Identity where I had identified myself as a third-culture kid.

Much of this was related to my experiences in traveling around the world to different countries throughout my teenage years, and the struggle that accompanied my efforts in balancing my cultural personality. Most of all,

I found the inability to openly discuss individual differences within my culture as a major obstacle in communication. Social interactions would rather become a form of control, followed by an equally weighted concern for internal, and external judgment.  

During a pandemic, when you are living in the opposite corner of the world from your family, things get a little difficult. So, needless to say, much of August has also involved a consistent dose of perseverance, now spanning several years, in dealing with tumultuous family dynamics.

Communication can be darn difficult especially in situations where you expect it to be easy. A dollop of a multicultural relationship, topped with differing ideals and perspectives, make the ensuing conversations even more difficult. Despite this, I find it necessary to persevere because after all family is family. August has been fruitful in that I was able to find a measure of closure concerning much of these issues.

With that being said, I will return very soon with a new post and updates about my latest efforts in writing my graphic novel, and artistic adventures.

Moving on…

I started writing a journal right around the time of my grandfather’s passing. I believe my decision to do so was in an effort to confront a loved one’s death and a reaction to what was a coming-of-age experience. I’ve kept up with my journal to this day, and it now serves as a treasure trove of memories.

Memories are a powerful emotion. My writing has largely been inspired by the experiences I have had over the course of my life. Along the way, I have gradually collected a library of the same, in my journal, that I’ve come to value dearly.

A few months ago, I posted a review on Will Eisner’s graphic novels. Among the ones I read, The Building left a long-lasting impression. Its premise focused on a building that served as the setting for the drama that brought together the story’s cast of characters. With the passing of time, the building’s subsequent aging and the corresponding circumstances reflect pivotal moments in each character’s life and their attachment to a building that has become synonymous with their life’s travails.

When my grandfather passed away, the decision was made for renovations to be done and for his home to be rented out to another family. I, on the other hand, was adamant that the house and its contents be left as they were, serving as a memorial in remembrance of the wonderful moments my family and I had shared with my grandfather in its quarters. In retrospect, I believe my frustrations were born of my unwillingness to let go but in due time I would do exactly that, leaning instead towards the descriptive passages of my journal to remember the irreplaceable memories of my grandfather and his home where I had spent much of my childhood. That was more than a decade ago.

Now, 29 years old, I found myself doing the same on the occasion of the passing of a close friend and mentor. Here too there was a venue, another building to remember. Gathering my accessories I traveled back in time to revisit it, allowing those memorable moments I had shared with my mentor to wash over the closeted corners of my mind. At times, a part of me wondered if my efforts were futile in nature and  no different than the actions of my younger counterpart, in my inability to let go.

An answer initially felt out of reach but looking back at Eisner’s The Building I was able to string together a response. I realized that my struggle wasn’t about an inability to let go but a work in progress to accept a natural ritual of life we all experience at some point in our lives. It is in many ways similar to writing a story, and one that allows us to cherish the past while continuing our individual journey in the present.

It is a story that offers the bittersweet truth that time will always continue to flow forward. Often, this reality leaves us restless. It drives us to reach out to our memories, snapshots that somehow provide a semblance of permanence and peace, against the inevitable tempest of change.

At the same time, understanding this has also helped me realize how important it is to cherish the present, and to learn to live in the moment. What better can we do in memory of our loved ones than by living those moments that made us together, and sharing them with those who make our present in an eternal tribute.

The Shining, Turning 29, Magical Beans, and everything else!

It has been a productive affair at the working-from-home factory these past two weeks. Let’s get right into it.

The Shining

Upon insistence from a good friend, I finally read my first Stephen King novel in The Shining. Having watched Stanley Kubrick’s adaptation of the novel, I went into it expecting a little of the same and was pleasantly surprised by the major differences I found between the adaptation and the original.

Under the current circumstances of working from home and pandemic regulations, the book certainly left its impact with its vivid imagery of psychological terror during isolation. Simply, I enjoyed the novel despite the periodic lulls in tempo I felt throughout the middle-course of the plot before the rising crescendo to an awesome finale. 

Having spent much of the last two weeks doing a fair bit of brainstorming on my word-processor for my new novel, alongside late night story-boarding sessions for my comic book, I couldn’t help but relate to Jack Torrance’s frustrations on getting his writing done, and “correcting” my artwork.

Turning 29

The last week of June also witnessed a great feast hosted by my partner in celebration of my birthday. 29 years old and catching up to the 30 mark, it was a nice and simple celebration at home.

Looking through some old photos amped-up the nostalgia factor. It felt like only yesterday that I had arrived in Edmonton (10 years ago to boot) ready to start my undergraduate studies at the University of Alberta.

I couldn’t help but feel a measure of pride in thinking how far I had come in my journey. I also felt humbled and thankful to everyone who had helped me get to where I am today. The very same people continue to motivate me, even now, to persevere and work hard toward my dreams and goals.

So, a huge thank you to my loving partner, Leina, my ever-loyal family, my rambunctious and motley crew of dedicated friends, and my mentors and teachers who continue to provide me valuable lessons to this day. You guys are the best support crew anyone can ask for and I count myself lucky to have such a family.

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Magical Beans

They say with age comes patience but despite turning the leaf over another biological year in my life, patience wasn’t a luxury in my latest exploits in figure drawing.I managed to knock some sense into myself eventually but until then I was mostly slamming my head into a wall trying my best to overcome my difficulties with the next set of lessons in figure drawing.

These lessons covered the magical beans to be dissected in analyzing the human figure, and I wished it was as easy as advertised on screen.

Good news is I’ve discovered the up-time in my ability to learn a new skill in figure drawing checks in at a consistent four to five day basis. Bad news? I still suffer the Jack Torrance fever when it comes to being patient about getting to the next stage, and will have “correct” said behavior. I can mostly chalk it up to my eagerness and enthusiasm to get better as fast as possible.

Moving on from these magical beans, my gesture drawing has been seeing better days, as I now embark upon the next set of lessons on observing the basic structural forms of anatomy, starting with an assignment in drawing animals!

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45 second gestures. Still got a ways to go…

Everything else

Progress always helps, and having researched a good bit on the subject matter of my new novel, I have been able to brainstorm a good bit and all that remains is to tie up the initial threads to the plot following the main character. Meanwhile, my comic book seems to be going in reverse as I unravel the plot threads in the process of fleshing out the artwork in large storyboards with my amateurish drawings  (for now, at least). 

With that, the curtain falls upon the happening of these last two weeks. I hope to see you all very soon with another post!

William Erwin Eisner – A Perspective

Before quarantine became the new norm, there was a store a few minutes from my apartment that I would frequent on a weekly basis called Wee Book Inn.

A used bookstore, Wee Book Inn was my go-to destination whenever I fancied a random late night walk and on many occasions, casual dates with my partner. (The cat is also awesome.)

Apart from their diverse collection of literature, I was drawn to the venue as they also offered a healthy collection of comic books, often in very good condition, for their modest pricing. Needless to say, I’ve been a ravenous customer, and have trounced on any opportunity to land some good titles. In my efforts to explore the graphic novel medium over the last few years, Wee Book Inn has served as a wonderful resource for inspiration.

My most recent purchase of a collection of William Eisner’s graphic novels was the figurative equivalent of hitting jackpot. Prior to the purchase, I had only ever heard the name “Eisner” as part of the “Eisner Award” winning icon that graced the covers of popular and successful comic books. It wasn’t until after my discovery of the graphic novels that I realized Eisner was a prominent graphic novelist himself (I agree, it’s kinda stupid that I didn’t make this connection beforehand).

Will Eisner - Wikipedia

So far, I have finished reading two of his titles: Life on Another Planet and The Building. Eisner’s intricate penmanship on top of his unique presentation of panels and sequential storytelling immediately caught my attention. Much of Eisner’s graphic novels were published in the late 1970s in what have been early examples of the American graphic novel medium. In reading his works, it was easy to recognize the foundational aspects of Eisner’s penmanship in modern day comics and graphic novels. His style was reminiscent of the weekly newspaper cartoon strips I had read during my childhood in India.

It came as no surprise to find out that Eisner was also one of the earliest cartoonists to work in the American comic book industry with his earlier series The Spirit (1940-1952) setting a standard in experimentation of content and form in the graphic medium.

It was also easy to recognize the repetitive but endearing theme that characterizes much of Eisner’s works: humanity. Eisner’s graphic novels focus on the human psyche and its vulnerabilities through characters whose worlds seem to be a mote of dust against the larger order that is life.

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In Life on Another Planet, knowledge of first contact with an alien civilization becomes a reflection of tragic human foibles expressed in the collective and individual responses of governmental organizations, religious pariahs, and all the way down to homeless and impoverished individuals.

Meanwhile, in The Building, Eisner does a reverse sweep in humanizing a building through its relation to the lives of four different characters ranging from an anonymous citizen driven by guilt for the death of a child, a woman trapped in a marriage of convenience, a real-estate developer obsessed with aging, and an amateur musician whose music accompanies the drama of the former trio.

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Under the light of current circumstances in our world, the events of Life of Another Planet  were eerily relatable. The same could be said of The Building though the readers’ relationship to the characters originate from our personal memories toward past experiences and attachments in life (be it another person or an artifact).

Eisner wrote several graphic novels until his death in 2005. Many of his novels  converged in relating the history of New York’s immigrant communities, particularly Jews (elements of which is very notable in The Building). I was also lucky enough to purchase Eisner’s Graphic Storytelling and Visual Narrative where he details his thoughts as a lecturer about the craft and uses of sequential art.

As a student of the graphic novel medium, and as an ardent reader, I would highly suggest Eisner’s works to anyone interested in well-balanced examples of the art of story-telling.

Finishing the script – a new journey

After an entire year, I finally finished the rough draft of my comic book script last weekend.

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This post is a little late to the party but my mind desperately needed a break from writing. The last few days have allowed me to recuperate as well as re-evaluate my goals and objectives with regards to the comic book, and to a larger extent, my future.

What I required was a dose of reality, and I got a good share of it reading reference books on making and publishing comics. While I’m very happy to have finished the rough draft, there still remains a lot to be done. Reading and listening to the words of professional writers and comic book artists has also made it very clear how the journey towards becoming a full-fledged writer/artist is not an easy one. There is still a long way to go, and there is even more to learn. I need to really patch up my art skills, and consistently improve my writing as well. It is a difficult career, and success is not guaranteed, but when all is said and done I find that what is required is a little bit of initiative and a whole lot of discipline.

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Vegeta and I are on the same wavelength concerning this. 

I’ve been writing ever since high school. It started off with corny and over the top cheesy romantic teen novels. My first ever novel was titled, Love As It Is, so I think you get the point.

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These novels now serve as comedic enterprises on those days when I’m stressed and don’t feel too good about my writing just so I can remind myself how much I have improved since.

Then came an autobiography in Our Last Summer that allowed me to reflect on the most dynamic stages of my life growing up from a scrawny teenager to a responsible adult. At it’s heart, the book was about family, friendship, and remembering my roots while paving my own path in life.

This soon followed suit with a short, fictionalized novel in A Little Bit of Everything.  Despite being fiction, the story touched base and drew inspiration from what I believe will remain the most important and memorable moments of my life. Writing A Little Bit of Everything helped me define who I am and who I wished to be as an individual. When I completed the book, I realized that what meant the most to me in life was to keep my loved ones happy, and share my happiness with them and others through my stories and writing. Now, having finished the script for my comic book, that emotion has become a resolution for what I’m convinced and determined will be the foundation for my future career. 

While the script is complete, I can’t deny that it will be a few more years until the comic book as a whole comes together. I have just begun dissecting an art course on line drawings and fundamentals. I have purchased a few more on figure drawing, perspective drawing, and animation, in a toolbox that I expect will grow in time. I will soon begin polishing my script and setting out the layouts for the comic while doing a hefty bit of research on topics relevant to the work. I will be juggling these activities in between brainstorming another novel and completing my doctoral studies.

I have my work cut for me but I look forward to this new adventure, one that I intend to share with all my readers, friends, and family. With your love and support, I intend to pull through. That being said, I hope you are all doing well and staying safe amidst the current COVID-19 pandemic!

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I’ll see you all very soon with another post.

Busy working from home!

Hi everyone,

It has been a while since my last post.  Amidst the current coronavirus crisis, I hope everyone is staying safe, and practicing social distancing.

The last month has been a roller coaster ride in my life but it all turned out for the better. In short, I have been busy with my studies (publishing a paper on my thesis research), adapting to the gradual changes amidst the current crisis, and engaging with my family.

As of now, my research has come to a halt as I’m largely studying from home while engaging in my comic book script. Having arrived at the climax of the work, I have about three more chapters to complete before I have the first draft of the script ready. I have also returned to dabbing in my art immersion studies during this period of isolation and and intend to share my progress with you all as I move forward.

In the meantime, I hope everyone continues to remain safe, follow the prescribed hygiene standards, and most importantly engaging yourself in whatever positive activities during this difficult time.

I hope to see you all very soon with a new post.

Trinkets from the ’90s

We all have a To-Do List, and every time we make one, there is always something that we inevitably push off to the end. In my case, it was cleaning up the storage room in my apartment.

After months of “surface” organization, I got off my lazy ass this week and put in some real time. Having accumulated an array of materials from when I had first begun my undergraduate studies (and prior), what was expected to be a painful process turned out to be very enjoyable.

Among the mislabeled cardboard and storage boxes, I found an assortment of items that served as references to various trinkets from the ’90s and early 2000s (my childhood and teenage years) in what now seems to be a lost time.

I was hard-pressed to choose my top 10 favorites (in no particular order) in what I found. For those readers among my audience who were born in the ’90s (and possibly earlier) I hope we share common grounds in relating to these memories.

(1) Dial-Up Internet & MSN Messenger

The iconic screeching sounds of connecting (and re-connecting) to the World Wide Web so that I could chat with my friends via MSN Messenger after school is an enduring memory. I used MSN Messenger up till 2011 (when I was in the second year of my undergraduate studies at university) by which point it was done and dusted and Facebook had taken over.

(2) Trackballs/Boxed Computers/Floppy Disks

My family had one shared PC system hosting Windows XP and man was it the hoot to get some game time on it. The trackballs would get broken often and replacements were a frequent necessity. Floppy disks were the fashion while I was in elementary school, and it wasn’t until middle school (around 2006) that I got my hands on CDs (700 MB were certainly big storage back then), but it wouldn’t be long till  the USBs (and the GIGA-bytes) came into fashion.

(3) Cassette Players/Discman

On that vein, I would carry cassette players and discman all the way up to my early high-school years. These were the bomb, and unlike my first I-pod which seemed so fragile, these looked like they could withstand anything (and on many occasions, did).

(4) Boxed Television

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Not much different from the boxed computers. Boxed TVs were the fashion in my family until only very recently. In fact, the basement I lived in a few years ago, had a boxed TV that was compatible with my PS3. The graphics, on the other hand, were certainly not.

(5) 240p/360p

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Kids these days make too much of a fuss for videos that lack 1080p resolution. Back in my days, 144p was the king. Our eyes never really necessitated the measurement of focusing on resolution until the culture of pixel diversity kicked in.

(6)  Siruvar Malar

A callback to my childhood in India, I grew up reading the Tamil counterpart of what were children’s newspapers/comics. These magazines were my weekly entertainment and would be delivered with the Friday newspapers. The magazines would be peppered with folktales, crossword puzzles, brain twisters, and just about everything that made a kid happy. My grandfather collected over thousands of these magazines in what was a treasure trove of memories that I shared with him in my childhood. I can certainly attribute the origin of my aspirations to become a writer and comic-book artist to these magazines.

(7) Spinning Tops /Beyblade

In my hometown of Madurai, India, you weren’t a cool kid if you didn’t know how to spin a top. I would spend many hours learning the art, much of which initially involved slamming the top on the ground, before eventually becoming a street master. Dueling tops in my childhood in the ’90s would later transform into my love for Beyblade in the early 2000s.

(8) Slap Bracelets + Tazos

While I didn’t get to wear a watch frequently, I did get to wear these slap bracelets  along with a few of my “bracelet buddies” throughout my middle school days in the early 2000s. I would also host a gigantic collection of tazos during the Nintendo Pokemon craze of that time period. My family lived in Egypt back then, and unfortunately, my mother would throw the tazos away prior to our departure from the country. Despite their loss, I will always remember the memorable fights I had with my younger sister bargaining between Pokemon tazos as we became Lays chips (through which they were promoted) junkies.

(9) Multicolored Pens

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As a kid, I felt a certain amount of authority after buying a multicolored pen, especially when I had been frequently told that red/green/blue colored pens could only be utilized by teachers! These pens were just that cool. Even now, I would love to buy one just for the sake of it.

(10) Simpler Pleasures

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In conclusion, I got my storage sorted out, and in return inherited a flood of nostalgia on the simple pleasures that is my experience of the ’90s and early 2000s.

Living in the Past, ’96: A Movie Review

This post is a first for me as it is a review of a 2018 Tamil film which made waves in my home state of Tamil Nadu, India upon its release. Having watched the movie only recently, and being a Tamil movie enthusiast, I was left wondering how I had missed it at all.

’96 is a romantic drama starring prominent Kollywood actors Vijay Sethupathi and Trisha Krishnan in the lead roles of Ram and Jaanu, two high school sweethearts from the 1996 batch meeting again at a reunion, 22 years after their initial parting.

The plot progresses periodically between episodes of Ram and Jaanu’s past in 1996 when they were classmates in high school and fell in love, to their present state 22 years later. Their reunion, and subsequent interactions in coming to terms with their present lives form the crux of the film in an excellent eulogy capturing the nostalgia of first-love, the inevitability of time, and the power of memories.

A movie succeeds when it is able to make its audience part of its story.  Unlike most movies where I have played the classic part of the audience as a third-party individual looking in at the protagonists’ journey from a removed space, ’96 offered a refreshing and unique experience where I felt drawn into the world of Ram and Jaanu as though I were one of their close friends relating with their journey.

This is achieved largely through the original background score  of ’96. The music is evocative, providing  a unique dialogue that embraces the subtle emotions and silence reflected in the company of the protagonists, while simultaneously transcending the story by drawing the audience into their journey.

Indeed, Ram and Jaanu’s experiences reminded me of my very own efforts in writing Our Last Summer: A Personal Memoir as well as A Little Bit of Everything. Both books were motivated by my desires to capture and immortalize cherished memories from high school and the last few years of my life. The fundamental themes of love, memories, the inexorable passage of time, and the very act of remembering and living in the past as evidenced by the characters in the movie touched me deeply and served as an additional reminder of my personal life resolution to “cherish the memories of the past, live the present, and happily anticipate the future.”

I learned this lesson in the company of a tragic event in my life. It has helped me since to become stronger as an individual in making my future by remembering the past that builds my present and appreciating the subtle and simple things that I often tend to take for granted in my day to day adventures. 

Ram and Jaanu face those very same questions and find their answers in ’96. I leave it to you, my readers, to find out their journey’s end and be inspired to engage in your own drive down memory lane. ’96 joins the prestigious group of a select set of movies that have come from the Tamil film industry that I believe transcend its culture and language. I highly recommend the film for all my readers as it is readily available on Youtube, Google Play, or Einthusan.